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WHO IS // MOTHER OF ALL LISTS

Oh how we love Mother of all Lists. Based largely on the theory that baby brain can cope with little else than well-constructed and humorous lists, Clemmie Telford's blog has blossomed into the go-to blog for sleep-deprived, humour-hunting mamas. Also, she's a great laugh and the unofficial poster girl for The Body Coach (have you seen that AMAZING picture!?) and one of my fave mama-bloggers. This isn't a list, but it's pretty damn good anyway...

Clemmie is mama to Bertie and Woody.

WHAT IS // MOTHER OF ALL LISTS?:

It's a collection of lists about parenting. Actually about life, but frequently about parenting. Previous topics include anxiety, ‘does everyone argue about this’, about fights you have with your partner, surviving two kids - it sounds a bit bleak, but actually there's a lot to laugh about too.

HOW DID // MOTHER OF ALL LISTS COME TO BE?

I’m not entirely sure. It kind of just happened. I remember adamantly saying that I didn’t want to do blogging as I didn’t think there was anything new to say - ha! What an idiot. Being a writer is my day job (I am an ad agency creative), so I guess it was kind of inenvitable. But I have to say I love writing Mother of All Lists…it's really enriching to discover that all the funny, bizarre, unexpected things that happen to you as a parent, are actually happening to lots of other people too. It makes you feel less alone/less of a nutter.

BEST THING // ABOUT BEING MOTHER OF ALL LISTS?

Having a place to express the many thoughts going through my head. It’s kind of like free therapy. Oh and I got a free hair-cut once too, which was a total bonus.

WHO WHAT // INSPIRES YOU?

The women. All the women I am lucky enough to know:  brave ones. Bright one. Driven ones. Silly ones. Fashionable ones. So many different strengths, but each of them inspire me to be a better version of myself (albeit one who's on my phone too much scrolling through Instagram). Turns out the Spice Girls were right - Girl Power really is the answer.

DESCRIBE //

 YOUR FASHION STYLE: I really like clothes, but since having kids I NEVER have the money to buy as much stuff as I’d like…apart from shoes! Logic goes out the window when it comes to trainers. Dress Like a Mum has recently started a feature called “Trainer Tuesday” -  it could be very dangerous for my bank balance.

 YOUR PARENTING STYLE: Winging-it. I don’t have a master plan - but I do try to expose my boys to as much fun and varied stuff as possible. We have never shied away from taking them to nice restaurants, sticking them on planes or dragging them round art galleries and music festivals - we working on a ‘what's the worst that can happen?’ approach. Answer? ALOT. But at least there’s never a dull moment.

FAVOURITE //

BEAUTY PRODUCT: I am a MAC make up girl through and through. But the gorgeous @Midwifeyhooper recently give me a tip-off about NO7 lipsticks. Turns out they are amazing. They stay put and don’t dry my lips out. HOLIDAY DESTINATION: I’ve always been a beach-holiday kinda girl through and through. But at the beginning of January we went skiing for the first time since having kids. It was amazing. It was a forced digital detox - you can’t check your phone whilst parallel turning. There was cheese and wine and loads and loads of fresh air (hanging with my family was ok too). Properly good for the soul. BOOK: Gahhhh I hate questions like this, I instantly forget everything I have ever seen or read. Instead I’ll give you my default answer as a kid: Grease. WAY TO RELAX: Anything involving sunshine and good food. NOT in a gastro-pub. I have real thing against ‘Gastro-pubs’ - so many serve average food at ridiculous prices. Yet I keep going back to them time and time again. Anyway, enough ranting, where were we?!

THE LAST //

TEXT YOU SENT: One to my husband saying RING ME - standard psycho stuff. CALL YOU RECEIVED: From Granny. She is 96 and was asking for advice about which scarf she should wear to jazz up the outfit she is wearing to her bible study class. Yes Granny!! I recently discovered that we are both fond of a pink NO7 lipstick - how good is that? THING YOU ATE: I graduated from The Body Coach 90daysSSS Programme just before Christmas, but am trying to stick to the principles: my lunch was a MOUNTAIN of kale, roast peppers and tuna, with chilli sauce.  Was feeling very pleased with myself until just now…. when an email went round the office saying there’s a pile of pastries left over from a meeting. Must resist. Must resist. THING YOU BOUGHT: A spiraliser. What a cliche. But I’ve been fighting the urge for some time…but I feel its time. Courgetti anyone?

WHAT // CAN'T YOU LIVE WITHOUT?

Gin. Peanut Butter. Nail Varnish - what I lack in jewellery, I make up for in shades of polish. Touche Eclat. Oooo and my Yesmum Cards  - which keep me on the straight and narrow.

WHAT IS // THE BEST ADVICE YOU RECEIVED?

I recently got a beautiful print from Crafted Sisterhood which says: NO RAIN. NO FLOWERS - it’s not advice. But I’ve been channeling that a lot recently. It’s a great check point when things are feeling a bit shitty. My Granny also tells me, "Better 5 minutes late in this life, than early in the next.” I like that too.

PARENTING  //

FAIL: Too many to mention. My lowest moment was the day Bertie managed to burst a Persil liqui-tab thing in his eye (on Christmas Eve when Woody was 3 weeks old). Turns out it is very very dangerous. Even writing this is making me feel sick with guilt. It was a lesson on being more careful with shutting doors and closing lids properly.
 
FABULOUS: Woody, my youngest, recently graduated to a ‘forward facing car seat’ and not long after he first went in I turned round to discover him and Bertie holding hands. It’s hardly ‘my’ victory. But that made me my heart soar.

GUILTY PLEASURE //

Don’t Tell the Bride. GIve me a night in on my own and I’ll always get sucked into watching. Followed by some brain expanding documentary obvs (yeah right).

FIND CLEMMIE ON INSTAGRAM and TWITTER.