Pinch, punch, first of the month - welcome to October and the downhill slope to the sparkliest, most expensive, joyful and stressful time of the year - Christmas.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I need to look at the big picture surrounding my mental health - how it’s not just about firefighting day to day, but actually looking ahead to what is coming and preparing for the upcoming stresses and strains.

After the last 18 months, I’m more aware than ever of my mental health. At the beginning of lockdown I totally dropped my basket. Then I got quite comfortable with it - arguable too comfortable. Then things started to open up again and I freaked out. I overdid things, overdid socialising, partying, exercising and ended up burning out. Completely and utterly.

So, in order to make sure I don’t fall down that slippery mental slope again in the run up to Christmas (I’m really trying to learn from my mistakes in the past and it appears to have taken me until I’m 40 to figure it out), I’m taking a time out. A big one.

As you read this, I’ll be on my way to this cabin, for three days and nights, on my own. The catch? I have to lock away any screens on arrival. I’m provided with a Nokia (Snake anyone?), a polaroid camera and a map. I’m stocking up on comfy knits, real books (as opposed to kindle books), a jigsaw and a dictaphone. I’ll be writing about the experience of doing a digital and social detox after the last 18 months and I’m not going to lie: I’m feeling some anxiety.

The box my phone is locked in is under my control so already I know I’m going to have take no chargers with me because I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I am addicted in some way, shape of form, to my phone and to social media. Sure, it’s my job and it’s normal to spend 8 hours a day or more on your job, but I’d be lying if I said that all my screen time was about work. Have you ever fallen down a TikTok hole?

So, what do I want to get out of this:

• I want to see if my anxiety is reduced when I’m not on social media all

• I want to see if my creativity increases when I’m not on screen all the time

• I want to know if I sleep better

• I want to know if I’m able to be more still, to rest and relax

• I want to know how it feels to be completely alone, with zero responsibility for three days

• I want to know what emotions, feelings and issues I can’t escape anymore without screens to distract me

• I want to know what it feels like to really miss my family when I can’t simple see them whenever I like through a screen

• I want to know if I can come home feeling better and healthier for the break

So, here goes. If you’re reading this on Friday evening, I’m probably already in the middle of my first breakdown. Oh, and in case, you’re wondering, I’m not taking any booze either.

Pray for me.