Winter.

Winter is coming. The rationed daylight, the freezing cold, the driving rain, the layers, the chapped lips, the colds, the flu and fuck knows what Covid will add to it all…it’s coming and frankly, I’m annoyed.

It doesn’t help that Autumn is hands down my favourite season and to be thrust from such a wonderful, balmy and bright autumn right into the arsehole of the year is just hard to handle. So, I’m here today to try and make it all feel a bit better by trying to find things about winter to be grateful for.

Be patient. This may take me a while.

1. Lie ins

   I mean, probably not, but maybe the darker mornings will mean our kids will sleep longer? Yeah, I don’t think so either.
   

2. Baggy clothes
   Thank god the trends are for oversized knits, mum jeans and tracksuits right now. Imagine having to squeeze on skinny jeans, a body and knee high boots a la the 00s.
   

3. TV
   Winter tends to see some pretty decent TV series and movies appear on our screens so there’s that.
   

4. Santa
   ’Tis the season of parental power where we threaten our kids with phone-calls to a mythical man in the hope of scaring them into behaving and when I say ‘behaving’ I mean putting their goddam shoes on the first time I ask.
   

5. Pyjamas
   I love getting dressed to go to bed but I also get really hot and sweaty if the temperature goes a degree above brass bloody monkeys so winter is the perfect excuse to get me some delicious jammies.
   

6. Excuses
   Don’t want to go out? Winter brings with it a plethora of acceptable excuses from ‘I’ve got a cold coming on’ to ‘It’s too fucking cold to leave the sofa.’
   

7. Roast Dinners
   I mean, you could eat a roast dinner on a Sunday in July but I’d have to assume you were a sociopath.
   

8. No Gardening
   I always hate that moment at the end of April when you realise you’ve now got to manage and maintain a whole other ‘room’ - the garden. Mowing, weeding, putting the fucking paddling pool away.
   

9. Strictly Come Dancing
   A family favourite and a great excuse to eat popcorn and watch TV with the kids and a takeaway.
   

10. Pedicures
    …are no longer necessary so you’ve just saved yourself a few quid there. See also: bikini waxes and spray tans.

Please note that I didn’t include Christmas or any of that stuff. Nice as it may be for a few minutes, it’s actually a little bit fucking stressful and overwhelming. I really don’t mean to be bah humbug but it just didn’t quite make it to the top 10 things about winter.

So, hopefully you’re now all jacked up and ready to enjoy the darkest few months of the year. Happy Friday!